Guanyin (I)
I unwound my tongue into a river &
on the far shore I feel the O of a gun pressed
to my mother’s breast like a baby’s mouth.
When the soldiers came she said all the trees
turned white, leaves ghosting to her lips. A white hand
folds away her tongue like the laundry &
I realize the hand is mine. I see a tree wearing
my face, it is a soldier who will marry me someday,
in his branches a girl is waiting to be sung down. Sundown
the rivers boil & my knees grow into their silence. My
brother drinks my milk with a mouth curdled
like a dying animal. We pray only to the god
that was never meant to save us. Sundown
& my mother complains of blindness, says she can’t
see anything but a man-sized tooth rattling down a road, the
sea sunk in one swallow, the river flooding back to the mouth.
One day she will say her children have joined the sky, she
will rake the clouds for a slim ghost. She will speak of the north,
the Heavenly Horses that sweat blood. The Heavenly Horses
quit the plains long ago, floated away like my face, like
the neighbor boy who tried to kiss a gun & was sealed into
the skyline. When the soldiers knock I open my mouth as
wide as I can, watch myself flush all over, redness
surfacing like another body in the river, faceless flowers,
my mother chews flowers to sweeten her milk,
wishes the shrapnel could sweeten her blood. At night
the bullets navigate us like saltwater fish.
Mother guts a fish in a room without windows,
with her thumb belly-deep she tells me about the
Horses, their lips fish-thick, their front legs trimming
the wind, their tongues jarred like fruit in the lap
of a man whose new wife swallows his crime.
The Heavenly Horses, she says, sweat blood
so that nobody can ever see they are bleeding.
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