We Know Nothing About Your Bodies, But We Want To

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teach you ours. We aren’t weak. Our skeletons

are built to stand even when certain parts break

or go missing. And while most of us are born

with collarbones, there are some who aren’t —

in the ’80s they made a living rescuing children

from wells. We’ve since stitched up every hole,

but the squeezers still exist — on this planet,

you don’t have to be useful to be kept around.

Our interests include improving the aesthetic

appeal of practical tools — cat eared umbrellas,

musical toilets, red bridges. Our main turn off

is nature, though we find ways around it. For

instance, with the right mix of chemicals

and a lot of patience, we can change a chicken

egg into a single-use camera. How advanced

are you? We’re not looking to move backwards —

even our primal yelps crawl up the throat and out

the mouth — but we’re known to be flexible in tight

situations, we’re known to be honest when desperate

and honestly, we’re right here if you like what you see.