I Would Like to Tell the President to Eat a Dick in a Non-Homophobic Way

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I would like for him to really taste the dick

Savor it like a last meal

Note the way it has or hasn’t been recently washed

The residue of baby powder and sweat

Sheathed at the base like a foamy negligee

I’d like for him to choke on the dick

If that’s what he’s into and it’s been talked about beforehand

I’d like for him to really get to know

The dick, how it curves to the left and bends towards justice

How it is sweet and bitter under the foreskin

How it is unashamed

Of its history

And knows where it’s going

And while we’re on the subject

I would like for Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell to eat a bunch of dicks too

Casual, Lunchables-style dicks, a confetti

Of frosting-covered dicks exploding

In their taste buds like a Saturday morning balloon-drop

I would like to ask the president to eat so many dicks

That he vows to eat more pussy

Which have vitamins and minerals

And the secrets to success

Until he feels clean

Until he feels as close to the face of god as a man can get

Until he loves dick and pussy so much he shakes

Like a man redeemed in a church revival tent

Understanding that first there was the word and the word was

Let them eat dicks

And the word was good

Lord, let him eat a dick

That knows it will one day die

A dick that expects nothing in return

Humble dick

Tired dick

The dick he must eat

The one he has feared his whole life

The dick that might fill the endless void inside