Self-Portrait as a Group of Mondrians

Nicky Beer

We’re stubborn and we love to dance.

We go to the empty warehouse in our head, slide off our shoes, and turn on the radio.

We love an iris just before it opens, its sharp gesture in the cold air.

A small goat often wanders into our dreams, bemused, chewing on a red wool cap.

The sun’s birds land easily in our outstretched hands.

We have bones dark enough to hold up time.

No one would believe how often we smile, still.

We are nothing but open windows.

No—we are nothing but windows, opening.

We want to crack our teeth against the sky.

We wind skeins of airplane exhaust between our palms.

We collect our little jars.

Softly, softly go the doubts across our faces.

We have been singing our whole lives, maître. When are you coming back?

about the author
Nicky Beer

Nicky Beer

Nicky Beer is a bi/queer writer, and the author of Real Phonies and Genuine Fakes (Milkweed, 2022), winner of the 2023 Lambda Literary Award for Bisexual Poetry. Her other books, The Octopus Game (2015) and The Diminishing House (2010) both received the Colorado Book Award for Poetry. She has received honors from the Guggenheim Foundation, the National Endowment for the Arts, MacDowell, the Poetry Foundation, Ragdale, and the Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference. She is a professor at the University of Colorado Denver, where she is a poetry editor for Copper Nickel.

Other works by Nicky Beer


Abduction