Self Portrait as Auto-phobe

Brionne Janae

                        auto-phobia is the specific phobia of isolation or being alone. It can also be an irrational fear of oneself which while groundless can feel quite intense.



tonight embrace the certainty of destruction

settle into it as you would into a good lover. great your demons

do not ask how they came to be drawn along the curve

of your eyelids like illustrations on a fan, name them after

yourself — weakling, bitch, ungrateful, unlovable, cunt.

catalogue the ways to be broken — the soft in the bone

the sizzle of hair before the heat of a fire, the bloods inclination

to run, the gentleness of your spine and your necks refusal

to give. imagine your body bereft of yourself — the chill

the inevitable decay — it is as natural as the desire for flight

except possible. divorce madness from insanity. grip your ribs, hold

together, fall apart, divide yourselves into as many as you may need

turn inward and remember I am you too

and I aint going, oh no girl, its just you, you and me.


about the author