“En la celda, en el gas ilimitado

  hasta redondearse en la condensación

  ¿quién tropieza por afuera?” -César Vallejo

Tell us about yourself.

 A) most honesty is composed of lies

 B) blood is a dishonest commodity

 C) I am vested in a Tudor bonnet

 D) I am winnowing ash at dusk

How would your enemies describe you?

 A) terciopelo y hueso

 B) subtended between ambition & truth

 C) a drydrunk with a god-shaped hole in his heart

 D) with friends like these who needs enemies

Are you ‘weird’?

 A) the flesh of an orange rests between pith and peel

 B) my parents are former cult members

 C) life is an atlas of internecine conflict

 D) I have forged my grief into the chape of a scabbard

How would you characterize your style of pedagogy?

 A) a skulk of foxes traveling by moonlight

 B) what we owe, we owe to others

 C) retconning history to suit a nebulous ideology

 D) paint by numbers, labile to the demands of the position

How would living in Nevada affect your work?

 A) green is a color which signifies resentment

 B) I am bereft of want

 C) dry heat, a howl echoing in the boneyard

 D) steeping the summits in snow

How will you make your students more ‘worldly’?

 A) how the world makes students of us all

 B) how foxtail undulates in late spring

 C) how the fen holds the sky at sundown

 D) how we embrace a world without future

Are you prepared to teach a 5:5 load?

 A) boundary, burden, burial

 B) I’ve forgotten how this began

 C) the universe ends through expansion, not contraction

 D) “ojalá pudiera un día vivir así, sin palabras”

Name something you like about your current boss.

 A) a waft of lavender

 B) judicious hands

 C) protean speech devoid of meaning

 D) their guilt is nearly invisible

Do you have any questions for us?

 A) what is the starting salary?

 B) no, thank you for your time

 C) no, it was a pleasure to talk to you

 D) no